Intuitive Choices

Cheyenne Meyer: Navigating Adversity by Redefining Her Identity

• Kimberley Dobbs and Jacob Miller • Season 1 • Episode 7

Share episode

While doing her last bike ride before the USA Triathlon National Championship, Cheyenne Meyer made a left hand turn and was suddenly hit by a car. She flew from her bike and broke her pelvis, sternum, sacrum, left shoulder, and suffered a brain contusion. In an instant her dream of becoming a national champion was taken from her. However, having a champion's spirit is not contingent on winning a championship.

Since her accident Cheyenne has committed herself to a life of service. Today, Cheyenne's life revolves her work as a guide for athletes with disabilities, including people from the Blind and Deaf communities, competing with them in triathlons and several other sports. Cheyenne not only acts as guide during competitions, but she is involved with two non-profits which help fund the para-athlete community.

If you're looking for an episode to help you tap into your inner champion, this is the episode for you.

To connect with Cheyenne's non-profit work:
Blind Fury Burning Barriers:
https://www.facebook.com/blindfuryburningbarriers/mentions

TRYBE, Adaptive Personal Training:
https://www.instagram.com/trybe_adaptive/?hl=en

Speaker 1:

Hey everybody, I'm Kimberly Dobbs.

Speaker 3:

And I'm Jacob Miller.

Speaker 1:

And we'd like to welcome you to another episode of Intuitive Choices.

Speaker 3:

Kim and I are mental health therapists working in Philadelphia.

Speaker 1:

Each week, we invite a guest to speak about how their own intuitive choices have led them to live a more meaningful life.

Speaker 3:

We hope that this conversation encourages you to make meaningful choices in your own life.

Speaker 1:

Alright, off we go.

Speaker 3:

Let's do it.

Speaker 1:

Today we are so thrilled to have with us Cheyenne Meyer. She is somebody that I had the privilege of meeting a couple of years ago Because, for those people who are listening who don't know this about me, I participate in para sports and what that really stands for? Para stands for parallel, which is essentially an entire community for people to participate in athleticism if you are a person with disabilities or differences, as I like to say, and I, sarah, dippinously, came across Cheyenne a couple of years ago at a race, actually a cycling event where she was the teammate of a blind athlete that I happened to be competing against, and ever since then she and I kept in touch and I didn't know much about her story, but I knew enough about it that I just knew it was important to tell, and so she agreed to come on and speak with Jacob and I to tell her story, and so I'm so excited to welcome you, cheyenne, to have this awesome conversation with Jacob, and I so welcome.

Speaker 1:

Thank you so much for having me.

Speaker 2:

Oh my gosh.

Speaker 3:

We're so grateful you're able to join us.

Speaker 1:

Yeah you have no idea. So why don't we? Why don't we start out with just tell us a little bit about your personal story on and your relationship with sports and athletics, not so much the parasite of it, but your story.

Speaker 2:

Sure. So when I was in high school I was not really good at any sports I was. I couldn't catch, I couldn't throw, couldn't kick, so there were not a lot of sports that were good for me. And so that's when I found running, and so I knew you couldn't really mess up running, you just run. And so I ran cross country and track and high school for a couple of years and I ended up getting a athletic and academic scholarship to run cross country and college. So I ran division to cross country and track for three years before I graduated and then went on to grad school.

Speaker 2:

When I got to grad school my dad bought me a bike so I could commute around my college and I figured if I could just learn how to swim then I could do a triathlon. So I joined the triathlon team. I started learning how to swim and then I started competing in triathlons, which is a swim, bike and run race, and I absolutely loved it. I found out that I was actually pretty good at cycling and I could use my talents and continued to win my age group in certain races. Then I started competing and winning entire races and so I found that triathlon was really the sport for me.

Speaker 3:

Shane, could you explain what a triathlon is or how a triathlon works, like the distances, like what's involved?

Speaker 2:

Sure. So a triathlon is any race that has a component of swimming, biking and running. So you can go anywhere from a sprint distance, which is probably 500 yards, swim, 13 mile bike and then a 5K run. You can have an aqua bike, which is just the swimming and the biking. You can do an aqua thawne, which is the swimming and the running. Or you can do a duathlon, which is run, bike, run.

Speaker 3:

Wow, okay, and what were the distances you were competing when you were in college and post college?

Speaker 1:

Like in your prime.

Speaker 3:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Oh, when I was in my prime, I would do sprint and Olympic distance. So a big distance would be 1500 yards swim, a 40K bike and then a 10K run.

Speaker 3:

I've actually done two sprint triathlons and I honestly thought I was going to die after the 400 meter swim and after my second one. I don't even know why I did the second one, because the first one was so hard, but I think it would take a lot to get me back in the water. So I'm very impressed with everything that you're doing.

Speaker 2:

Honestly, sprints are so hard In fact they're like the hardest one there is in my opinion, like I've been doing Ironman so long and Ironman is I know this doesn't sound right, but it's easier. Right, because it's slow and it's like you can spend all day doing it right, like you've got time.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, now I got it.

Speaker 2:

You don't have to like hustle. You know you can just kind of take your time, Whereas a sprint you don't have a moment to like grab a thing of water, Like you have to go. There's just like no time to waste, and so you're going like balls to the wall. That's right Like full time, so I totally get it. Sprints hurt.

Speaker 1:

I want to ask you a quick, I just want to back up really quickly. So it sounds like you had like a gravitational pull toward sports in general when you were younger and it was just finding the right one for you, because some people just don't have that pull at all. But it sounds like you did, despite, like you're saying, not necessarily being particularly doing it well per se.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I always wanted to be sporty. You know, I was a smart kid and I was good at academics and I was involved in theater, but I wanted to be good at a sport. I really wanted to be sporty somehow and I wanted to continue to be healthy. You know, they they say you're going to gain the freshman 15 when you go to college and I didn't want that. I wanted to remain healthy and keep up my you know, physical fitness as much as I could, but in a way that was enjoyable to me. And other sports because I wasn't any good at them, they just weren't enjoyable to me, yeah.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, you know it. Really I didn't realize the first time we had like chatted prior to the podcast, that you had been in division two sports and I think that's like the most difficult division to be a part of. I was a division three athlete, which I loved because it's like all the fun of the sport and none of the obligation so much and none of the like obligation that's like linked to your academics, let's say, or like a scholarships on the line, anything like that. Division one it seems like all about the athletics, less about the academics, not for everyone, but it seems like that. For division two it's like you have the obligations of a division one athlete but it doesn't seem to get the same perks as a Division I athlete. Does that resonate with you or do I have a false perception?

Speaker 2:

No, that totally makes sense to me. That's spot on, oh interesting.

Speaker 3:

So, how did you gravitate to Division II sports as opposed to like one or three? It's like a hard middle ground to be a part of.

Speaker 2:

Sure, so I definitely wasn't good enough for one.

Speaker 2:

I was middle to the back of the pack on my very best day, but I got my scholarship in academics and athletics so I was able to join the team, kind of on a promise of you know my potential, and then just continue to improve from there. I also was the editor of the school paper when I was in college, so it was nice to have that also that side of things, so that I could write stories about our cross-country meets and our track meets and give our team the recognition that they sometimes didn't always get. Yeah, that's amazing.

Speaker 3:

That's a you know. It speaks to you as a triathlete almost is that even in the sport you're doing it's multifaceted. You know there's three phases, very different systems.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, so true.

Speaker 3:

And in your life itself you kind of carry that ethos into your academic work, your athletic work and, I'm sure, many other spheres.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, that pretty much sums it up.

Speaker 1:

No, I love that observation, Jake. Yeah, so going back to college, right and finding triathlons, okay, and you're like, oh, I started riding bikes and then at the swimming, and then what ended up like did you at some point want to take your journey as an athlete past college and continue to compete, maybe you know, in maybe larger level, on a higher level?

Speaker 2:

Absolutely yeah. When I won my first race, I knew that this was the sport I wanted to continue in. And then when I started winning money at races you know I wasn't always winning, but if I was on the top three of the podium then I would win, you know, some money and so I was thinking, wow, this is something I'd really like to pursue. I don't know if I'm like Olympic level, but I'd like to at least try to continue to compete in this sport, and one way that you can do that is to compete at the age group national championships for the USA triathlon. And so when I won my first race, I qualified for the age group national championships and I was getting ready to go to that event. And actually the Monday before I was supposed to go to the national championships to compete against the best competitors in my age group is when the thing happened that completely changed my life, and I think that's something that we're going to be talking about today.

Speaker 3:

How did you let us know a little bit about what that, what that thing was?

Speaker 2:

Absolutely so. On the Tuesday before the big race you're supposed to take your bike over to the local bike shop that will ship your bike to the race site, and so I was getting ready to do my last bike ride before I would ship my bike off. And so it was a Monday afternoon, it was hot. I was just going to do a quick two hour bike ride and then take my bike and get ready to get it shipped. So as I was riding my bike on that Monday, it was really hot I was getting ready to do just a quick two hour ride and then get ready to ship my bike off. And as I was riding, I was going to turn back around, and when I made my U turn I was hit by a car on my left side.

Speaker 3:

Oh my goodness.

Speaker 2:

So immediately upon impact I was thrown from my bike and thrown onto the shoulder of the road. I broke my pelvis in seven places. I broke my sternum, my sacrum on both sides, two ribs and my left shoulder. I suffered a brain contusion and I also got a huge chunk of glass stuck into my left arm.

Speaker 3:

Oh my God, were you aware of what was happening as it was happening?

Speaker 2:

Honestly no, I think I was conscious the whole time but my brain just kind of shut off and had blocked that car.

Speaker 1:

So you remember, like you remember getting hit or you remember people telling you what happened.

Speaker 2:

I don't remember getting hit. I don't remember the next, like 20 minutes at all.

Speaker 3:

You had no idea that this car was next to you when you were about to turn.

Speaker 2:

I don't remember any of that. I couldn't tell you what the car looked like. Any of that?

Speaker 1:

Oh, my God.

Speaker 3:

So in your in like the way you perceived the event you were riding your bike, and then when did you come to?

Speaker 2:

I finally. Well, I hear from different people that I was awake and then I would go in and out of consciousness and I would talk to people. I was talking to the nurses in the life light helicopter when they came to pick me up.

Speaker 1:

Wow, so you were a helicopter to the hospital.

Speaker 2:

I was. It was rush hour in Houston and I needed the highest level of care and to get downtown it would have taken hours and I was bleeding internally. So I needed to get downtown quickly, and so in the helicopter it only took 13 minutes to get downtown.

Speaker 3:

That's a long, 13 minutes, yeah. It really was.

Speaker 1:

Were you alone or was any? Were you with any family? So poor? Was it just? Oh my gosh.

Speaker 2:

It was just me. Luckily I had my road ID emergency bracelet on, so the EMTs were able to call the people on my emergency bracelet and let them know what was going on. But with life light helicopter patients, especially women, they give you an alias. So when you get to the hospital my family was asking we're looking for Cheyenne. And they said we don't have a Cheyenne here, but they had given me some other name.

Speaker 3:

Why.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

What's so yeah?

Speaker 2:

So I guess if a woman has suffered trauma, you know, sometimes they can't protect her from the person. Maybe that caused the trauma, and so they give them an alias.

Speaker 1:

That's really interesting Okay.

Speaker 2:

So, yeah, so I don't remember being alert or talking during the hospital or during the helicopter travel. However, people were saying that I was talking to them, you know, saying things that really didn't make sense. I was a real head injury victim because I was just saying the same things over and over, which was how's my bike? Where's my bike? That's what a cyclist do whenever we get into an accident.

Speaker 3:

For people who don't know so much about cycling or triathlon. Can you give people a sense like, how much does the bike cost, or the wheels or the process involved?

Speaker 2:

Oh my gosh, my bike. I was still paying my bike off that I got hit on. It was a huge deal. Thousands of dollars go into triathlon for the best gear, the best bike, the best wheels and all the other things that go into it. So I was really concerned about my bike, more than myself.

Speaker 1:

So let me I just want to circle back here. So how old were you when this accident happened?

Speaker 2:

Let's see, it was 2016. Okay, so seven years ago I would have been 23.

Speaker 1:

So at 23, you're about to compete in a national championship, first time as a triathlete, and you get into this accident and with all of this idea that you would it sounds like you wanted to pursue this professionally right Like to see how, really, how far you could take it, and then, like in the in the blink of an eye, your whole life just just goes into a completely different direction. And so when did you, do you remember the moment of, like, waking up in the hospital? Like that moment that you, like that everything's came together. You're like, oh my God, like this is like what just happened in my life, absolutely.

Speaker 2:

Did you have that moment? Yeah, I remember. I remember waking up in the hospital it must have been two or three days later and waking up and seeing that I was in a hospital bed and just freaking out like well, okay, I'm going to be able to get out Right, I'm going to still be able to do my race, right.

Speaker 1:

Are you still thinking about the actual race?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, yeah, I remember lifting up the covers because I was trying to figure out like what on me is hurt, because I can't tell. I'm on so many drugs that I'm not feeling anything. But I lift up the covers and I see like all these wraps and stitches and bandages and I'm like, oh wow, like this is not good, that's a bummer, that's all I could think about.

Speaker 1:

Oh my God. And who was communicating with you in and around that time. That was saying to you like here's the situation, this is serious, like what was, like that process, like when you started to really realize what happened, what really happened to your body, what this might look like for your life.

Speaker 2:

It was a real. It was a real confusing time because of my head injury. I was having to ask the same questions over and over and be told the same thing over and over again, and I know it broke my parents' heart. Every time I had to ask them well, what's going on? What happened? Am I going to be able to race? Am I going to be able to walk? Like? And I would forget, because the head injury was so fresh that it just I kept asking those questions and so, yeah, it was a really confusing time just trying to wrap my head around it, and when I finally did grasp it, then I would forget again.

Speaker 1:

Oh, my God.

Speaker 3:

Cheyenne. This may be a strange question and but in the things you're describing, I can't help but think about something called the extended mind thesis, which is which is that our consciousness, or, like our sense of self, flows into the tools we use most regularly. So when we're using a tool that feels like a part of us, that it goes from being a tool to being us. So, like often, we feel like our clothes are us. Sometimes people are attached to, like their cars, and they feel like you know, their car is them. Certainly, people's cell phones feel like a part of them. They get anxious when, like, the batteries start to die. It sounds like your selfhood was like not only linked to your actual bike but to your limbs as tools and then also to your identity as a triathlete. Having those things taken away from you so rapidly, I have to imagine was was violently alienating. Having those that experience be so alienating, where did you find yourself after those things were taken away?

Speaker 2:

That's a really good question and the answer is I had no clue who I was without those tools the tools of my body being like a tool that I could use to compete without my bike. Like I felt completely lost Before my accident. I kind of think I was a bit of a jerk. I was very self-centered. Triathlon became an obsession for me because it was something I was finally a sport I was good at, and I just held on to that super tightly and so I would wake up at four in the morning, I would go to bed at 10 and I would do it all over again, workout twice a day. I was obsessed with numbers and calories and percentages. I mean I would. I would track other people's performances and races to see if I could beat them on race day. Like it became a real obsession. So when I got to the hospital and I realized like I'm not going to be racing anytime soon, I was like what in the world am I going to do instead?

Speaker 3:

Wow, how do you think you? I have hard trouble believing that you were a jerk, so I'm just going to use your own words here. In that, in that state of being, like, obsessed with the sport, how do you think you got there? And do you know why? Maybe you got to that level of obsession?

Speaker 2:

I think it was just because I wanted so badly to be good at something other than academics. I wanted to be known for something other than my ability to write, my ability to speak and, you know, being good at school subjects. Like I wanted to be athletic and when I finally found that thing that I could go, I could win and people would, you know, praise me for being good at winning. Or, you know, I would show up to a race and people would say, hey, Cheyenne, are you going to win today?

Speaker 2:

Like that made me feel awesome because I was finally really good at a sport where I could show up and I could be the winner, and so that's. I think that's really where that obsession came from.

Speaker 1:

Why do you think that was so important to you to be the winner?

Speaker 2:

I love the attention. I love people being proud of me for something other than my you know, my knowledge. I love just everybody looking at me and thinking that I'm, you know, such a cool and awesome person because I'm winning races or running fast times.

Speaker 3:

How did you feel that transition start to take place of becoming the Cheyenne post accident?

Speaker 2:

I woke up and I said, man, like things need to change right now, because the prioritization of things in my life is completely wrong.

Speaker 3:

So you knew that in an instant.

Speaker 2:

Oh, absolutely. I was like I am a jerk and this is terrible. And I need to apologize to this person, this person, this person Like I need to start fixing things right now.

Speaker 3:

Did you feel a sense of that before the accident? I can't imagine and it could happen so fast unless you had already been contemplating those things.

Speaker 2:

Oh, I knew I was a jerk before my accident. I guess I just didn't take any steps to fix it, and this was that wake up call that I needed.

Speaker 1:

So that's how did you see? This is. What's so interesting is that it's almost as if you you were able to see pretty quickly after waking up from the accident that that that was the wake up call around, like shifting your priorities, not in this, like everything happens for a reason, kind of way I don't I don't necessarily subscribe to that but that you were able to make this connection between I have to make some serious changes and this is this, is the. This is going to help facilitate those deeper changes in me.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think I thought that I would start making those changes after my big race, after my big race was over. Then I could focus on different things or I could take some time off, you know, and I was just waiting and waiting and waiting until that moment, but this was just the universe telling me, you know, it's time for us to fix these things now, and I think that's one really great thing that has happened. A lot of great things have happened out of this incident in my life, but that's one of the biggest things is that it showed me that it's not all about me and that family and friends need to take higher priority in your life over any obsessions that you have. You know, any hobbies that you take part of, like, those things can't come before the people that matter to you most.

Speaker 3:

I'm just taking a moment. I'm really touched by what you said and how you said it.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I remember before the accident, when I was so wrapped up in triathlon and competing and doing all my training, my family would not get the time of day for me. My partner at the time was getting pushed to the back burner. My friends, they just weren't getting the real Cheyenne, they weren't getting quality time with me because I'm sorry, I'm too busy, I've got to go train, I've got to go do this, I've got to go study the course or whatever I had to do. And so that was just a huge wake up call for me Like no, these people, these are my biggest supporters and they deserve better.

Speaker 3:

It almost sounds like you also weren't getting the full you.

Speaker 2:

I think so. Yeah, I think I was wrapped up in this identity of triathlete and losing out on all the other things that make me me.

Speaker 1:

So, speaking of like the things that make you you, how did you then transition or begin to work with the para community or involve yourself with people who are in the para community?

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

So when I was at a triathlon pretty early in my triathlon days, I saw an athlete competing who was blind and he had a guide with him, and his guide was actually somebody that I knew kind of a little bit through the community.

Speaker 2:

So I just went up and talked to them like, hey, this is really cool. I wonder if that's something that I could do. I would love to help somebody else achieve their goals. And he said well, why don't you meet us at the park and we'll show you how it's done? So I met them at the park. I met the first person who I'd ever met who was blind, and I learned a ton from him, learning what they need when, when running, when cycling, and so I just got really involved in this and actually the night of my accident the next morning I was scheduled to run as a guide for that same young man, and so when I woke up in the hospital freaking out, I said somebody call Brandon, because I can't guide him tomorrow. That was like the first thing I could think of was talk about how to get a guide, talk about selfless right.

Speaker 1:

We talk about a moment right of that like proof of like self issues you like to call it to selfless, you know.

Speaker 2:

I didn't fully immerse myself in the blind community before my accident because I was kind of selfish and you know I need to focus more on myself and not helping all these other people the rest of the time. But after my accident I wanted to find ways to continue and involve myself in that community and because I had kind of lost some of my speed, I was wondering if I could run with other athletes who were maybe slower than I was whenever I had had you know my peak performance or whatever. And so enter David Kuhn, who is this really awesome guy who lives in Illinois, and he needed a guide for a 5k in Houston. And so that was my new goal was, once I was able to get healed, I that would be my first race back, once I was able to run again was to guide him for a race. And that was that's what I put on my calendar, just like I would any other race, you know, a national championship or whatever. But my next big goal was a local 5k as a guide.

Speaker 1:

And from.

Speaker 2:

There it just snowballs. And I've been guiding ever since, almost exclusively because I just find it's way more fun. I meet these amazing people, we have genuine friendships and partnerships and I get to have somebody to talk to the whole time. It's awesome.

Speaker 1:

I can tell you I'm personally grateful for that. I just want to say, although you've never guided me yet, I'm personally grateful for for that. So I just want to say that, god, jacob, what were you gonna ask?

Speaker 3:

I was just saying, like Shayan, I just don't, I just I have trouble fully believing like this, this selfish image that may oversimplify your pre guide life. Because, first off, to recognize that there's someone that you wanted to guide or could guide, and then to so rapidly make the realizations you did when you woke up and then commit yourself to this goal of being able to be the guide which gives you your own motivation to get yourself better in order to guide others, that really speaks to like a depth of you, or at least some seeds that were trying to sprout prior to your accident.

Speaker 1:

Yeah.

Speaker 2:

Thank you.

Speaker 1:

I think that came. That would I mean, because I agree with Jacob like where did that come from in you, you think?

Speaker 2:

I think a spirit of service has always been something that's been important to me and instilled in me from my parents. You know we've been doing volunteer community service ever since I can remember. When I was really little we would go to the nursing homes and just visit with the people who live in assisted living. We would sometimes give little envelopes full of money to people at the at the dollar store to give them around Christmas time to help them with some of the holiday expenses. We would go on mission trips and put on vacation Bible schools for kids in underserved areas. So community service has always been something that's important to me and I wouldn't say guiding is necessarily community service. I mean it's more of like you're serving a friend, just giving them an extra hand to compete, and so I guess that's just kind of where that transition came from. I just wanted to help somebody else do the same thing that I love to do, but in a way that is safe and fun for them.

Speaker 1:

I love that. You have no idea.

Speaker 3:

I think it's a. It's a rare gift for someone to appreciate serving others, and it doesn't seem to be such a common trait.

Speaker 1:

And I will add to that that, as a person who is in the blind community, who I recognize that while I don't I don't want to really believe that I have limitations, I do and that finding somebody like you, cheyenne, who really can see the difference, part of the pun, between doing something for a person and doing it with a person, I think is such a huge thing. That, like that, is a big difference. As a person who is blind, we all we have to ask for help all the time everybody does, and we especially all the time. And so for you to be able to recognize that that there are you know that these are, that there might be people, friends of yours, that really could benefit from from you participating in their life in this very specific way so that they can experience joy, I think it's like I just yeah, I just really feel grateful.

Speaker 2:

I like how you said that it's not doing something for someone, it's doing something with someone. I've definitely learned that over the last few years. Like guiding is not. People think it's like a job or a volunteer opportunity. But no, it's. It's a chance to get to hang out with a friend and it's awesome. I get, I get to do this all the time go hang out with friends and go race with them, you know. And so I used to say like oh yeah, I'm guiding so and so in this race. But now it's like oh no, I'm doing such and such race with my, my friend, it's just it's so different.

Speaker 3:

In what you're saying, I like reminds me of like this, this ancient Jewish teaching from a work called like the ethics of our fathers, per kevot, and it's like a series of like nuggets of wisdom, essentially in an oversimplicated, simplified way. But one of them is it says can I like a very it's it's by yourself a friend? And I think at first it's like a little jarring to us, like what do you mean? Like you're buying friends or bribing friends. But then, in like the explanation of the teaching, it says no, you do actually buy friends by like giving them gifts and giving them hugs and listening to them and taking them out to a meal, and your ability to build friendships via service, I think, speaks to that as well.

Speaker 2:

It's so beautiful. Absolutely, I like that. I never really thought about it that way, but that makes total sense to me.

Speaker 3:

Do you mind just going back a little bit and speaking more about how you're? I know you said that your parents, like, took you to do these, these service trips, and you know giving charity and giving your time to others. Can you speak to how you felt about doing that as a kid, if it inspired you, if you felt like your parents were dragging you along to it? How was that? What was that like for you?

Speaker 2:

At first I do think it felt like oh, you know, I have to go and do this with my family especially as a younger kid. You know, I didn't really quite understand it like how old.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, it's hard for kids to especially young kids like I don't know, maybe six, seven, eight to really connect with older people, sometimes especially if they're not your family, and so I had a hard time connecting. But after I was in high school I started going to the nursing home by myself and going to keep visiting, even without my parents, and I think, as I started to just talk to these people, they have really cool stories they have. They have seen so much in their lifetime and there's just a lot you can learn from them. Same thing with working with kids at.

Speaker 2:

We worked with some kids at the Navajo Nation reservation and those kids were amazing. You know, they had so many things to tell, so many different life perspectives than than we have, and so learning from them and just being grateful for the things that I have and learning new perspectives on things was just amazing. So where it first felt like work and it soon turned into just a passion for just learning and being around people that were different than me, Can you think of like a moment or tell a story about when that transition kind of took place and it started to resonate with you?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think. So. There was one woman and I couldn't even tell you her name, but when I was in high school and going by myself and with other people from my church that were young people, we would go and we would visit and she was really mean and nobody really wanted to go and visit with her. The nurses had a hard time with her. She just was really mean and I don't know if this is because she had other issues or I don't know. I don't know if she was just a grumpy person, but I really wanted to give her a chance and so I continued to visit with her and I realized one day she thought I was her daughter and so she was being really sweet to me and I guess she had some dementia or Alzheimer's and she was just being really nice to me and I think at that moment I was like wow, like just being here for her for just a moment. She thinks that her daughter is here and she's having a really good visit with her. So I'm not going to take that away from her.

Speaker 2:

Like, and after that, you know, I moved away, I went to college and I continued to go to nursing homes. Even when I was in college. People my age don't do that. That's weird. That's a really strange way to spend your free time, but I loved it. I love older people. I love the stories that they have to tell and just the perspectives that they have. Like I love history that they can share. They've lived through so many things that I only read about in books. So to get to hear those stories from them and just the smiles that they get when they tell a story about you know that president, or that moment in time like you, can really learn so much from them.

Speaker 1:

It's more than that, because it's also just just what I hear about everything that you're saying the common denominator is being is just connecting with human beings on like a deep and meaningful level, right Like through the stories they tell. I think that and I think that I don't know, I'm just having a little bit of an epiphany here for you and I could be absolutely wrong but I'm like just seems like everything that you have done right the triathlons, all the training, the volunteering, all of those things really boil down to you providing opportunity for you to connect with other human beings. And when it started to go awry was when you really weren't doing that as a triathlete. You were, you were right because you were sort of so focused on on your numbers, on your, on your races. So it's really, it's just so incredible to hear this, this story, how it, because it just sounds like it's such a meaningful thing for you.

Speaker 2:

That spot on. I never really made that connection. But, yes, connections are so important to me, and especially connections with people who maybe don't always get the connections that they deserve. So, whether that's people in the disability community, people who you know are underprivileged in the community, people who are ignored in the assisted living, like people that deserve more connection than they're getting, that's what I want. I want those people to have more connections. And so I know I can't change the world, like I'm just one person, but I can try. I can try to do a little bit here and there.

Speaker 1:

You're not trying, you're doing. I say that to people all the time you are in it.

Speaker 3:

I, I like, firmly, firmly disagree that you can't change the world. Because when people say that they, they fail to acknowledge that you are part of the world, like if you are changing through the work you're doing, that is inherently changing the world. That's the only way things happen. You know, shayan, I don't know how many times you you told your story and I understand like thinking of this area of your life as like the selfish era, but it really feels like you.

Speaker 3:

you know, you started life as a kid and every kid, to a degree, has to be a taker of some kind because they're kids you know, and, and hopefully their, their parents, guardians, mentors, whomever are are inspiring them to transition or being takers to being receivers, and a receiver is a taker that has a level of gratitude which is, in turn, giving back to the giver. And as we get older, I think the people who live the most meaningful lives are the people who know how to be both givers and receivers. And I have to imagine in your recovery from your injury, you both relearned how to be a receiver instead of a taker and, in turn, became a giver. In the work you're doing, you're continuing to be a giver and I think that helps you resonate with with being your best self.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I agree Um it's well said.

Speaker 3:

So now that we kind of you know, spoke about a little bit of your, your life trajectory, can you, can you, speak a little bit more about what's it like to be a guide? How'd you get there, what are, what are the races like, and maybe some of the connections you've made in the community?

Speaker 2:

Absolutely so. Um, and and Kim knows a little better than I do, Well, she knows about the same as I do that the, the blind and guide community is fairly small, and so we have, you know, these, these Facebook groups, or we have kind of word of mouth, where you know you can raise your hand and say I'd love to be a guide for this race, Would anybody like to do it with me? And athletes who are blind can can say, oh, you should definitely do this race with that person, or?

Speaker 3:

no, don't race with that person, Wait why do they say not to race with someone?

Speaker 2:

Well, I mean, there's different reasons why you might not want to race, Like there's there's preferences, right? Well, so, like I love to talk, I am a big time chatter. And some people don't like that. When they're racing with a guy, they want somebody to just be very quiet and focused. So they may say hey, I don't think Cheyenne's the best match for you, because you talk a lot, but it's like, almost like a guide dog.

Speaker 1:

You know what I'm saying. Like because there's personality. What Cheyenne's pointing to is, like you know, just, in any any relationship, dynamic, right, personality is a factor, right, and so there definitely needs to be some level of meshing, because you are, first of all, there's a tremendous amount Cheyenne, you know this as a guide of trust, not just from the athlete to the guide, but also from the guide to the athlete, and so yeah, so I think that there's a couple, there's a bunch of different components around, like maybe this wouldn't be a good fit, but keep, keep going, cheyenne.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, just by kind of consulting the community, you can figure out is this going to be a good match for me, Is this going to be a good race for me? And you know some guides and athletes are willing to travel to meet their partner, some are not, and so that's kind of the way that you figure things out. But I started running as a guide first and would run with athletes, but then a woman named Ashley Eisenminger out of Illinois, she asked her friend.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, she asked if I would be interested in guiding her for a triathlon. But this was before I had ever gotten on a tandem bike. I didn't know anything about tandem cycling, and so I had to essentially learn how to pilot a tandem bike so that we could go to the national championships for para triathlon. And so this is when the world of para tri just came into my life and I remembered how much I love to do swim, bike and run. But now I get to add in the component of having somebody by my side the whole time, and I was so ready. So from there I learned how to pilot a tandem bike. I was terrible at first, but I got better at it and now it's my favorite thing in the world. And yeah, just things just kind of snowballed from there.

Speaker 2:

I started meeting other people who wanted to have a guide. I started doing races with different people around the country. I eventually graduated to the half Ironman distance Wow and did several of those. And then that's when I met Kathy. Kathy is a woman from New Jersey. She is deafblind and uses American Sign Language as her primary form of communication, and I was learning ASL at the time. And so she sent me an email and said hey, I heard that you're a guide who knows how to sign. Would you be interested in racing with me? And I was like I don't know that much sign language but I'm trying and if you're patient then maybe we can make this work. So she flew down to Texas. We did a half marathon together.

Speaker 2:

It was awesome and she was so patient and she taught me more signs and I was still in school, learning as much as I could, and from there she and I have done three half Ironman since then and we're planning to do a full Ironman in October. So I love that now and now, because of her and because of my schooling, I have a whole new language that I can utilize. If people are deaf or hard of hearing, I can still communicate with them. We can still race together in a safe and fun way.

Speaker 3:

Oh, my goodness For people who don't know how far are the distances of an Ironman?

Speaker 2:

Sure. So full Ironman is 2.4 miles swim, 112 mile bike or 26.2 mile run, which is a marathon.

Speaker 3:

So you swim 2.4 miles, you bike 112 miles, which is like already, and then you'll run a marathon.

Speaker 2:

Exactly, and I'll let you guys in on a little secret. Well, not so much of a secret. I'm doing two this year. Oh my goodness as a guy who are you doing with the first? One is with Randy Strunk, who is from Minneapolis. We're doing Chattanooga, and that one is actually a 116 mile bike. So four more because why not? Yeah, why not? And then the other one is California, with Kathy in October.

Speaker 1:

Hell yeah, I'm not supposed to help.

Speaker 1:

Oh my goodness, oh my gosh, people are going to get sick of listening to this episode because I'm just I'm so grateful for you. I just I'm so grateful for you and I'm so great. I'm just on behalf of my whole, all my people, as I say, and Ashley is. You know, this community is small, jacob, you know what I'm saying and you just you just end up meeting, oh, have you met this person or have you met that person? You just speak. I never even met Ashley, but we talk on the phone for hours all the time. You know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2:

So it's like and it's yeah, so it's funny too, because it's like, oh no, we've never met, but they're doing. They're doing this race that I'm doing, or we went to the same guide dog school, or something like that you know how.

Speaker 3:

How do you? I can understand how to guide someone on a tandem bike. That makes some sense to me as like as a pilot, but how do you guide someone in the swim or in the run?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so in the swim you have a tether that's attached either to your waist, to your thigh or both. I think some use a tether that's connected to their ankle. I've not tried that one yet how long is? It. It's you know, I should know this, Not that it's not super long. I got full.

Speaker 3:

Yeah, oh yeah, it's, it's. So you're really close by. Yeah, you're close.

Speaker 2:

It's a bungee material. So if they feel the the tether getting tight, they know they're going the wrong way and if they bump into you, they know. Okay, my guide's still there. So I will tell you. There was one time when we were in Ironman, alaska. The water was 56 degrees, we're in a full wetsuit booties, neoprene cap, everything and the tether slipped off my leg because I couldn't feel my legs, I didn't know that it was off me, and so all I hear is Randy screaming shy and and she got the tether waving in the air.

Speaker 2:

So I was like, oh there's, there's Randy.

Speaker 3:

Oh my gosh, that sounds. That sounds Terrifying.

Speaker 2:

Well, it's pretty scary. So you have to. When you breathe, you want to sight and make sure that your partner is right next to you. So that's what I do when I'm breathing I just take a second, make sure my partner's still there, make sure I'm not too far ahead or too far behind, and, yeah, that's how you stay together in the swim. You don't have to communicate much in the water. Obviously, there's no real talking. If you need to make a turn, you can either tap or you can just bump into your partner until they turn around the buoy. With Kathy, we have a couple of signs that we use for start, stop, emergency, that kind of thing. And then when I grab her on the shoulder, she knows it's time to stand up. We're done.

Speaker 1:

I want to ask it's a little bit different than what we've been talking about, but I think it's just curious if we could sort of go down this direction a little bit is when you started talking about your experience in high school and you were like I was counting calories and I was really focused on these very sort of like you know how many miles have I run? Or like maybe what do I look like? Those kinds of things. Do you feel like that still happens for you?

Speaker 2:

In a way yes and no. So I have had body dysmorphia ever since I was in high school. I'm not a big person by any means, but I'm kind of midsize and I see myself as much larger than I actually am. I'm not a small person and I've always been rather tall and just kind of, you know, muscular, and so that to me always equated to being fat, and so I always felt like the biggest girl on my cross country team, because most girls that run are a lot smaller than me.

Speaker 2:

They look differently you know I've got these big legs because I cycle so much and those big legs are not necessarily equated to a strong runner or a strong swimmer. So, yeah, I've always had this body dysmorphia, and it got exacerbated after my accident because I went into the hospital being the smallest that ever ever been in my life and now they're pumping me full of fluids. I'm not able to exercise, I'm eating just a bunch of junk food and gaining weight, and that's all I could think about was I'll never be as small as I used to be, I'll never be back to as fast as I was. You know I'm never going to return to that. And so for a long time it really, really got to me and I would. You know I'd be lying if I said that I don't still think about myself in that way.

Speaker 2:

But when pictures are posted of me doing a race as a guide, I'm looking less at the way my body looks and more at the smile on my face and the smile on the face of my partner, like I'm thinking to myself, wow, like, look at this thing that we just did, look at what our bodies were able to make us do. Like I'm not thinking about what I look like, but more like how my body can perform. And I think, too, I have a really special perspective because a lot of the people that I hang out with, a lot of my friends, a lot of my racing partners, are blind or low vision and when they see me, they don't see what I look like. They don't see that I think I'm fat or I'm having a bad hair day or whatever. Like all they see is how I make them feel and how I train them.

Speaker 3:

I was thinking the same thing, Kim. I was thinking it's like so much. You know spirit work, soul work, you know when people say like. The word psyche is often translated as mind, but it also means like spirit or soul. Yeah, and that's what makes connections with people. Is that spirit or psyche? And Cheyenne, that's what it seems like is resonating with the people you run with.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, To me like it's like the before and after my accident, how I was always focused on what I looked like and what I performed like, and now it's more about like what can I do for other people? And that has come back to me in my. You know, I still have my days where I'm not pleased with how I look, but then I go and do something and I'm like, wow, like my body was able to carry me through that amount of miles or that activity that I just did, or I just I don't know, I, I, or even just participate in this experience with this person.

Speaker 1:

I just had the deepest and hardest laugh I've had all week. You know it's. But you know, look, as a woman, you know, jacob, you you can't relate to this, but you, you know, you've grown up around women, you know it's. I think it's important to say that that it is, I think, a struggle for women just in general. You know, like, you know, comparing yourself to other people, and what do I look like and do I look? Do I look good enough?

Speaker 1:

All of these things, and I think that for many women, that is that can be something that they experience like the good part of the, the better part of their life.

Speaker 1:

And so for you to be where you are with it, when you, you can actually look at a photograph and go I'm, I'm going to look at how big my smile is and how big my, my partner's smile is, and like I think that's tremendous and I think that's actually I mean, we don't do a lot, I don't know, I guess we do do advice giving, but I just think that's an important thing to just put out there of like here's, here's how I am able to make peace in these very like tangible ways with I mean, look, how many times do you? Oh, do take the picture, like, oh, I got to see the picture. I don't you know. I say to people all the time one of the biggest blessings for me has been going blind because I can't see myself, can't see myself, I can't. I don't go into a yoga studio and do a yoga class and compare myself to any other women I would have 10 years ago.

Speaker 3:

Well, at least you can't see yourself in it in a superficial way, right?

Speaker 1:

Exactly, and so it allows for the space for for you, for me, to be able to, like you know, connect deeply or like, feel somebody for, like who they are as a person, and I think you, you're, I think you're, you're, you're there, you know, you're doing it, you're doing the work, the deeper work. Thank you so much. Yeah, that's really. I'm so glad you were, you were willing to talk on that. Yeah, absolutely, sometimes it could be a tough topic, you know.

Speaker 3:

Shayne, do you think in growing and in like giving to others, you've developed skills and giving to yourself in a healthy way.

Speaker 2:

That's a good question. Um, you know, I was in therapy a few years ago and my therapist she's awesome. She would help me choose a word that would be my word to focus on that year. And, uh, one year I chose service and that was easy, you know. I got to do a lot of activities and serve the community in different ways and then the next year I chose self, because there was an imbalance in the amount of time I was doing things for other people and the amount of times I was doing things for myself. And I still struggle with that balance. Like, I would love to help someone every weekend, I would love to go and race as a guide every weekend, I would love to go and serve at a nonprofit every weekend, but I do need time for myself to recharge. You can't fill your cup, yeah, or what is it? You can't fill up someone's cup if your cup is empty.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's exactly what the expression I was thinking.

Speaker 2:

I just I don't, um, I don't like to think that doing things for other people drains me, because I don't think it does. I like to do things for other people, but sometimes I just need time to myself, and I don't always do that. So that's something I'm really working on is just scheduling time for myself, scheduling time for my fiance and I to have our own time, like the, and just rest. Rest is so important. I would love to just go, go, go every day, but realistically that's not going to work. I have to rest, and so scheduling that time and just making myself rest and do things that I like to do that don't involve triathlon is very important.

Speaker 3:

That's it. It's to find that harmony between um to move away from selfishness, which is like taking to be self-full, Like I'm filling myself up for the sake of myself and others, and that's such a hard harmony to strike.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 3:

Um, shannon, you're just wondering if you wanted to share any final thoughts or anything, maybe. Perhaps we didn't speak about that you're hoping to touch on?

Speaker 2:

Sure, there's this group of women um, three of them are blind or low vision, and then there's me, and we came together to create an organization called blind fury, and what we did was, last year, we raced together as a relay, so one did the swim, one did the bike, one did the run and I guided all three of them, and so we were the first in history to do this at an Ironman half uh, sorry, at a half Ironman distance race.

Speaker 2:

So ever since then, this blind fury group has kind of blown up, and now we're doing more in the community uh, to, yeah, to to inspire more people and equip more people with the resources, the volunteers, the equipment that they need to be able to compete in sports, especially if they're blind or low vision. So, um, ever since we had our historical event back in April of 2023, we started hosting guide clinics so that we could teach more athletes to become guides for athletes who are blind or low vision, and so since then, we've hosted three different clinics in three different cities and we've got even more on the books.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, what's what's it is.

Speaker 2:

We did Dallas, we did Fort Worth and we did Galveston, Texas.

Speaker 1:

When are you um? When are you going to do Philly?

Speaker 2:

Hey, I'm ready. I'm ready to go to Philly right now. Okay, great.

Speaker 1:

Let's broad, let's broaden that reach. Oh, that's this is. This is just. It just gives them the chills all over. Um, I remember, I remember seeing this all over your social media. I commented every single time I could I just love, love, love the mission, love what you guys are doing. It's incredible.

Speaker 2:

It's so much fun and to get to do it with my friends. And then my fiance is also helping out. He already, before we even met, had a nonprofit for people with disabilities, and then we met and so it all just kind of came together and now we're teaching clinics, we're helping send tethers to people who want to learn how to run with a guide, we're sending all kinds of resources to them. So this is just something I really believe in and want to continue to grow until we can have a clinic in every major city in the United States. So that's just a big dream of mine. Um, and with the help of my friends and my fiance, like we're, we're going to try our best to change the world, if we can.

Speaker 1:

Well, you're doing it, you're doing it, you're doing it, girl.

Speaker 3:

Shane, how do people get involved? If they, if they'd like or I don't know if you accept like donations, how can people help contribute to what you're doing?

Speaker 2:

Yeah, so, um, if you want to follow us on Instagram, we have a couple of different uh pages so you can follow tribe, t, r Y B E, underscore adaptive. Okay, um, also, you can follow uh blind fury burning barriers on Instagram or Facebook and um the tribe page. There should be a link if anybody wants to donate to our mission to help host more clinics and um have the equipment needed for um each of the little clinics that we put on, that's awesome. We're going to put all of that stuff in our show notes?

Speaker 1:

Okay, absolutely Okay.

Speaker 2:

Um, yeah, I can send you the links, uh, specifically to our PayPal as well, if you'd like.

Speaker 1:

Oh yeah, that'd be wonderful.

Speaker 3:

Um well, I think that kind of wraps up for today, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, thank you, thank you so much, thank you all.

Speaker 3:

This was awesome.

Speaker 1:

Yeah. And we can't wait to.

Speaker 3:

We can't wait to publish this? That's right.

Speaker 1:

So excited.

Speaker 3:

We want to thank you so much for listening to today's episode. If anything in today's episode spoke to you, please like subscribe rate and review. Also, don't forget to share this podcast with friends and family.

Speaker 1:

And if there's anybody that you know that you think would be a great guest on intuitive choices, please email us at intuitivechoicespodcastgmailcom. Finally, if you want to know more about our mental health practice, intuitive counseling and wellness, please check us out at intuitivecounselingofphillycom.